Being More Visible and Authentic with Fifi Mason | 019

Do you want to learn how to be more visible and authentic in your business?

I'm joined by personal brand and visibility coach Fifi, Mason Fifi shares.

How you can overcome self silencing.

And avoid common visibility, mistakes, and this episode of architecture business

club, the weekly podcast for solo and small firm architecture practice

owners, just like you who want to build a profitable future-proof architecture

business that fits around their life.

I'm the host John Clayton.

If he wants to get notified, when I release a new episode and

get access to free resources and exclusive offers, then go to Mr.

John clayton.co.uk forward slash ABC.

And sign up to my free weekly email newsletter.

Now let's explore, being more visible.

Fifi Mason is a personal brand and visibility coach and a mission and

purpose is to help individuals with quieter voices show up authentically,

amplify their impact and create the change they wish to see in the world.

To connect with Fifi, visit FifiMason.

com forward slash connect.

Fifi, welcome to Architecture Business Club.

Hi, thank you so much for having me.

Oh, it's great to have you here.

My pleasure.

Before we get stuck into our topic, we're going to talk about,

we, we have a shared love of dogs for both dog owners, aren't we?

So could you tell me a little bit about your Siberian Huskies, Kylo and Winter?

Yes, I, aw, dogs, dogs, I could talk about them all day.

I have two huskies, so Kylo is five and Winter is six, I

think, because she's a rescue.

So, um, we're not quite sure on her age, when I got her.

But, um, yeah, they are my world.

I absolutely adore huskies and a big part of My dream and what I'm working

towards is having a Husky rescue one day.

So, yeah, I could talk about dogs all day long.

That sounds absolutely amazing.

Definitely something to, to work towards.

Our dog, um, Maisie, she's also a rescue as well.

She was from Romania and we got her when she was about five months.

So she's about, well, coming up for this spring, we think, um, she

might even make a guest appearance during this interview, so we'll, uh.

Hopefully not.

Hopefully it should be quiet in the background, but we'll see how we go.

Um, so today we are going to talk about how we can start showing up

and being more visible in what we do.

So I guess it'd be good, good place to start.

We just to talk about what is visibility and why is it important,

particularly for small business owners,

Yeah, so visibility is it's really important because with without

being seen, if we're not being seen, if we're not being heard, we.

We aren't going to be able to reach the right people.

We're not going to be able to, um, get in front of the people

that we want to serve the most.

So visibility is, is really showing up in your business as yourself.

Being, being yourself and being visible, being, being seen online

and, and even offline as well.

Sometimes it can be going to networking events and, and that kind of thing.

But predominantly what I help my clients with is, is showing up

online and being visible online.

And there is a, there is a challenge there for, for those who

I work with the most, which is.

Quiet introverts and they really, they find this quite a

challenge, quite a struggle to be visible and be seen and show up.

So it's just one of those things that when, if you're not being visible, if

you're not being, being seen on social media, uh, you're going to just really

struggle to reach the people that you Really want to work with and what I find

is a lot of people tend to hide behind a logo or a business name and, and they,

they have this kind of professional way of putting themselves out there,

which means they're not being seen.

So yeah, visibility is really important.

Yeah, that is such a common thing.

Well, particularly in the architecture industry, you've

mentioned a couple of things there.

Maybe we could sort of just rewind a step and talk a little bit more about that

and perhaps sort of dive into some of those common mistakes that small business

owners make when it comes to visibility.

So you mentioned about often people will hide behind the business logo.

That's something that you've seen a lot of, I imagine, working

with some of your clients.

Yes.

So the biggest mistakes that business owners are making.

When it comes to visibility is what I said, hiding behind a logo and a

business name, most, most predominantly that's when someone starts out, they,

they feel like they have to have this really professional business,

like way of approaching things and.

That doesn't work necessarily because it means you miss out on, people miss

out on understanding what makes you different, what makes you unique, and

there's a lack of personality, there's, they're not seeing who you are, they're

not seeing the true person behind the business, they're not able to connect

with you, so if you're not showing up and, and, and you are hiding and

you, um, Even though having a business name and, and a logo can be important,

it's not the most important thing.

And it's really thinking through how you want to be seen and how you want to be

perceived and, and really figuring it out.

The way that you want to show up to connect with the people

that you want to help the most.

So, yeah, the biggest mistake often is hiding behind a logo and a business

name, not putting photographs of yourself anywhere, kind of hiding your

face, um, and not being yourself, not being authentic and not having anything

personal involved in your, in your brand.

And the problem is that.

You are your business, especially if it is just you.

You're the one that is offering the service.

You're the one who is the expert.

If you're, if you're the one that works with everyone, you are your business.

And if people aren't seeing that and all they're seeing is a

name or a logo, it just makes it much more difficult for them to.

I want to work with you because they don't know who you are.

They don't, they don't know what you're all about and there's

no way to differentiate you from other people out there.

I think in essence, it sort of, it makes your presence, um, like a bit vanilla.

That it sort of makes it hard to differentiate what is different

about what you do versus what another service provider may offer.

So yeah, and actually that thing that you mentioned there about the

common thing of people hiding behind the logo, hiding behind the work.

That is, I mean, that's exactly what I started doing.

Now I started out my, you know, personal brand kind of came about by accident.

So I fell into all of those.

pitfalls that, that most of us do.

Like, you know, I, I didn't work around any of those.

I made all the same mistakes that, that most of us make.

Okay.

That, that's, that's really interesting.

Something else I wanted to touch upon which we spoke a little bit about outside

of the interviews is self silencing.

What is self silencing and where does it hold us back?

Particularly in relation to, to being visible.

Yes, so this is one of my favorite topics to talk about and self silencing is really

well at its core it's when we hold back from sharing our thoughts, our ideas,

our opinions, and our perspectives all because we fear the perceived consequences

and it's really a self imposed barrier that just prevents us from speaking out

and sharing what we are with the world.

It's also known as, uh, self censoring or self censorship as well.

So if you've ever come across those terms, it's very similar, but it, it

really is just that, that invisible force that stops us in our tracks and it.

it makes us feel unsure and uncertain and maybe uncomfortable as we are

putting ourselves out there and Really, how it shows up and how it feels is, is

quite different for most, for everyone.

There's, there's some common commonalities and common reasons why

you might be holding yourself back.

Uh, but it really is a personal thing.

And, but for many and myself included, it was.

It was just a mixture of fears, of doubts that were stopping me in my tracks, and

there was a lot of worry, anxiety, and it was really affecting me professionally

in how I was showing up and being visible in the early days of my, of my business

when I was freelancing, and, and then it Later on, as things progressed, there was

different ways in that I was holding back and I think it shows up in different ways

for different people at different times.

So it really is just hiding who you are, your own thoughts, your ideas

and opinions, because you fear what.

Might happen and often they are what I call perceived consequences because they

are just things in our head that we think are going to happen and Realistically,

what what is going to happen tends not to.

So, how does it feel having been somebody that's had to work through a lot of

those barriers of self silencing to now be somebody that is very visible online?

How does that feel now having made that transition?

Oh, that's such a great question.

Um, I really, I think once you get to a point where You can let go of a lot

of those fears, a lot of those worries.

It just makes everything more enjoyable and more fun.

And when you show up and you're, and you're, you're sharing things

and you can see the impact it makes, you can see how other people are

inspired by what you're putting out there and sharing with the world.

That.

Just that feeling is incredible.

So yeah, I, I think once you are able to just let go and Really?

I think I think it's a there's a there's a kind of part of that which is not just

not caring anymore Not really having a care you're going to upset someone or

anger them in a way, but still being empathetic and approaching things in a

way that is is The, the right way of doing things, you're not going to go out there

just to offend people, but what you're saying, what you're talking about isn't

intentionally going to hurt anyone, um, or offend anyone or upset anyone, and

the reason that you've been holding back is because you think that it might, even

though it's not likely to, and when you do start to share those things and people

can resonate with them and relate to them.

It is just an incredible feeling and it's freeing.

I think that's the way the word I would use to describe it.

I can totally relate to this, Fifi.

I have had put off doing something like this podcast and other ideas that I've

had over the years for all of those, those reasons that you've mentioned.

So yeah, I, I totally resonate with, with everything you've just said.

And it does, it feels, does feel Very freeing, that's a great way to put it.

But for many of us, it does feel still, still feels uncomfortable

showing up in some cases, impossible.

Particularly being in the spotlight, especially online,

perhaps on social media.

So what tips do you have to help us overcome self silencing

and to authentically show up as the face of our own business?

Remember, don't forget to subscribe to my free weekly email newsletter.

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Now, back to the show.

Yes.

So for those who are struggling with this, I think the first step is really

identifying what is holding you back.

The reasons why you are not sharing the thoughts that you

have, the ideas that you have.

Say, say you got an eye, a really Interesting, unique perspective

about something in your industry.

And you're, you could put it out there.

You could post, you could talk about it, but you're not, you're stopping

yourself because you're worried that peers in your industry might think.

It's a stupid idea, or you might get some backlash because it's, it's not the

way that most people do it and anything like that, you're, you're holding back

from sharing that, even though you feel like it is something important

that you want to share and talk about.

If you're in that position, it's really just identifying it.

It's, it's figuring out what their.

There is that is holding you back in that and and and knowing the reason so

for for that one thread that example, the reason that I believe that you are

holding back if that's something that you're struggling with is that you are.

Worrying about the, the opinion, changing the opinion of those that you

care about and it's not necessarily those, the strangers out in the world.

It's not that it's, it's the people that you care about, maybe friends, family.

Your, um, peers in your industry, people who you respect in some

way, those people, you're worried that you're going to, they're going

to change their opinion of you.

They're going to think differently of you and really identifying the

reason is, is the starting point and I have a really good quiz.

to help with that.

It's called the what is holding you back quiz.

So it can help you to identify the real reason why you might be self silencing.

But once you do have this understanding, once you've Really look deeper at

why you're holding yourself back.

That is when you can start taking those steps to work through

it and work your way forwards.

And so the next step after that is to, is to take smaller steps, to take steps

that don't feel as big and as daunting.

And And really start small, start making small progress

as you start to share things.

So, an example is To just share it with a close friend first and and

be able to talk to them about it.

And then the next step might be to talk to family members and other friends.

And then the next step could be, you might post it on your personal

Facebook because it's private and only your friends can see it.

And then, and it's just taking those little steps to start to reveal

and talk about these things more.

And.

Another thing I'd add here is, is finding your community, finding your audience and

those people who are going to be receptive to those ideas and thoughts and opinions.

So there's Facebook groups that you could do that in and, and that kind of

thing, and creating your own groups, your own community of people that are

really going to resonate with what you.

And then if you're still struggling with that, there, the next step

is to, is to start to reframe your thoughts and ideas, reframe the way

you're thinking and looking at things.

And I, I have a cool game that we can, I can share with, with

you and the, and those listening it's called the what if game.

And.

It's a really, really simple reframing method.

So what you would do is draw out two columns, and in the first column,

you label it self, and in the second column, you label it service.

And then in those moments of doubt, you might be thinking

what I call what if questions.

So it could be something like, what if I say something silly?

What if someone gets annoyed?

With me and say something nasty when you're thinking of those what if questions

you would list them all down in the self column and then what you want to

do is flip from that self perspective into the service perspective and think

of what the benefit is of sharing those things or putting that thing out there

from from a what if perspective as well.

So it could be what if I make someone smile today.

What if somebody needed to hear this to change their perspective and so you would

list all of those in the service column.

So when you're in those moments of really thinking and through the doubts and the

worries and you're stuck in that mindset, you can flip yourself out of it into

this service mindset where you're where you're thinking about showing up for those

people that you want to serve the most.

So that is.

They are the three tips that I would give you to help move past self silencing.

I love that.

That's such a brilliant idea.

Were there any other like suggestions or ideas that you had for posting on social

media in particular, that seems to be quite a hang up for a lot of people.

Are there any sort of suggestions for.

How to go about being a little bit more visible when they're, you know,

posting things on their, um, socials.

Yes, definitely.

Social media is one of the, especially for quiet or introverted types, I find that we

are a lot less likely to want to put stuff out there and be seen and be visible.

We, we, we keep to ourselves a lot more.

So it can be a challenge and yes.

So my advice on that, well, I can share three social post types to help

kind of get you thinking about how you might put some more personal type

content out there on social media.

So.

I'm not sure if you've talked about this on your show

already, but it comes up a lot.

So the no like and trust factor is something that when you start

to learn more about marketing and that kind of thing, it comes up.

It's quite a buzzword.

It's a buzz phrase.

And even though it is really overused in some instances, it is

still something that is A really powerful kind of way of approaching

things and, and it still stands.

It still can help you to think of a way, think through a way of actually

showing up on social media as well.

So there's no like interest.

Factor is really showing, showing people what they, well, helping

people see, find you and know you and discover what you're all about.

They start to like you and then trust you.

So following those three steps as social media posts, you could.

Put out content for the know, um, to, to help people get to know you.

And so then that the sorts of posts that you might share for that could be like

your unique approach or your perspective content that makes you different.

Maybe it's frameworks.

Maybe it's sharing your opinions, sharing things that, that are

going to stand out because.

They're, they're quite different in your approach, your own perspective.

Then you have the like types of content, which could be personal

stories, things that are sharing your values, and they're more personal,

uh, personable as well, and, and really revealing more of yourself.

It could be sharing photographs of yourself, it could be little Videos where

you talk through your day and, and sharing snippets of your life a little bit.

And they, they are the sorts of content that sorts of posts that people are going

to start to really like you and, um, and, and really want to know more about you

and, and learn more about you personally.

And then you've got the trust types of posts and they.

Could be testimonials and the social proof of what you're putting out there

of your service and sharing the results and the outcomes that you provide.

So it could be testimonials, client before and afters.

It could be case studies, things like that.

So the content that really shows.

That you are making a difference if that you are actually helping people, you are

providing the results that you're, that you actually want to help people with.

So that is the know, like, and trust types of content and just following

that and keeping it in mind as you create content can be really helpful.

That's really helpful.

There might be some listeners that are thinking, Oh God, like, you know, I don't

want to have to like be posting loads of personal stories and pictures of me.

And I guess we just have to caveat this and just remind them the point that you

shared earlier in the conversation that.

You can start with those baby steps, like you don't have to be like going

out of the gate and you don't have to be posting photos of yourself and

personal things you don't want to share.

This can be a little sprinkling of personality amongst other things

you might be talking about online.

I think a common thing that a lot of architects and architectural practice

owners do is the content they share tends to be very much about the.

You know, photos of finished projects or, or visuals of

the design they're working on.

And it's very much like, Hey, look at what I've designed.

Aren't I great?

And it's all about the work and not really about them.

But this is a really easy way, just with those three different post suggestions

that they could sprinkle some of that into their content that they're putting out

there, and it would really help to kind of level up the game to help them become

more visible, as well as just letting people know about what great work they do.

So I love that, some great suggestions.

exactly.

It is, it is like that is, um, it's, it's just finding the balance for you.

And yes, so the no types of content might be the, the approach that

you have or sharing the work that you've done, but then having those

more personal like types of content.

And then also the trust, which is really important.

to show that you're actually getting the results for your clients.

And, and so, yeah, so just having that spread out and, and scattered,

and it's a good point that you make because sometimes you wonder,

am I sharing too much of myself?

Am I sharing, or it can be the

The balance that you find there is what you feel comfortable with and, and really

just to, to, to think through, think through that you're sharing and know that

there's a purpose behind it rather than it just being something you put out there.

So, say you have a story to, to tell, maybe, maybe something like

you want to show that you, that you.

On, you aren't always perfect and that's a great, it's a great way of showing that

you're real, that you're, that you're human, but sharing a story where you've

had, you've had, you've made a mistake, but you've learned a lesson and you've

had an epiphany or a transformation and so you're not just putting something out

there that's personal for just the sake of it, you're actually sharing a story of it.

How you worked through something in your life and it made an impact

on you, but it shows that you, you are human, but also that you've

learned and grown from something.

So it's really thinking through how you put out those stories

and why you're putting out those stories in the first place as well.

That's a brilliant suggestion.

People love stories and, um.

To share a story where you show a bit of vulnerability as well.

That could be really powerful and really help you to connect with people.

Fifi, this has been really helpful and really insightful.

Really enjoyed the conversation.

What's the main thing that you'd like everyone to take away from this today?

The main thing is really that you can, even if you feel that you don't

want to be seen and be visible, that you're, that you just can't do it.

If you feel that it's.

Impossible that just because you're shy or quiet or, um, more introverted that

you, that you, that you can't do it.

I want you to know that you can that that is the main thing

I want to to end on today.

That is possible as.

As you grow in confidence, as you start to really put yourself out there in these

small ways, gradually take these steps, understand what might be holding you

back, understand the power of actually showing up and being visible, and that

all the things that you really think might happen are not likely to happen.

So, really Just having that hope that you can show up and be visible and feel

comfortable doing so and have that sense of freedom that we talked about as well.

I love that.

Fifi, is there anything else you wanted to add that we haven't

already covered in the conversation?

No, I think we covered a lot and I don't want to overwhelm

people with so much stuff.

So yeah, it was a great conversation.

I loved it.

Oh, cool.

Me too.

There is another question that I'd like to ask.

It's got nothing to do with the topic today.

It's just something I like to ask the guests on the show.

I love travel and discovering new places and the architectures.

It's about place.

So, um, could you tell me one of your favorite places

and what you love about it?

It doesn't matter if it's near or far, it can be absolutely anywhere.

Does anywhere spring to mind?

I, every year I go to the Peak District to, to just go on

long walks, um, with my dogs.

So that is one of my favorite things to do.

So I think it's like Bakewell area, just love it.

I don't, something just calls to me there.

And I, every time, every year I have to go back and have my fix

of trawling through all of the nature and on the hikes and things.

So, um, yeah, I love, I love that place.

Me too, and also indulging in a Bakewell tart or two perhaps while you're there.

I don't, but it is very well known for that and yeah, my friends do.

I certainly did last time I went there.

That's been awesome.

Thanks so much, Fifi.

Could you please just remind everybody how they can, well, can you remind

them how to connect with you and also where they can take your quiz?

Yes, so you can connect with me on fifimason.

com forward slash connect and the quiz is on there too.

It's the what's holding you back quiz.

That's brilliant.

Thanks so much.

Thank you so much for having me.

Next time I'm joined by architectural technologist, Ian Chevelle,

to discuss his unconventional career journey into architecture.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of Architecture Business Club.

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